Time
The time when nothing works out for you is tough. It is stressful when you have been one year without work. And then there is nothing ahead on the schedule. You log on to Facebook ... Look at what all others are doing all the stuff everyone is occupied with and then call people finding that where few can pull some minutes for you others are occupied and tell you that they will get back once free. I know there are things to uplift yourself but being at work does make one a bit better since it assures a lot of things will be OK.
Life is not easy for anyone on the earth. But i am probably reaching a point of no return. Although I could swallow a lot and put on a great act earlier but now it seems I have no control over myself too. Am I done with myself ? I cannot muster the strength to stand strong any longer no matter which field.... Career, Friends, Family almost everything.
It feels like there is a scar which never stops bleeding, it feels as ugly as it looks.
I never expected things to come easy to me... there are trials.. there are tribulations. Too many hopes and dreams built up then brought down. Tears do not come as easy as it looks to others. The feeling of endless tears is not what anyone looks forward to each day. But there is always some timeline defined for everything... Is it ? For me there is no end to few things in life ... The word hope has lost its meaning now... there was a hope that someday it will all be for good. The hope of being loved as I always prayed for. The happiness, where I can actually feel happy n contented for a span of time. The hope of getting through the unending struggles. The hope that someday if not all atleast someone will understand me as a person. And many more hopes that I have already lost in the series of loosing.
I still don't have good answers to a lot of questions asked. But someday I might never have to give any answers to anyone.
I knew myself as a person who loved life long back. I don't want to give up on myself.
Life is not easy for anyone on the earth. But i am probably reaching a point of no return. Although I could swallow a lot and put on a great act earlier but now it seems I have no control over myself too. Am I done with myself ? I cannot muster the strength to stand strong any longer no matter which field.... Career, Friends, Family almost everything.
It feels like there is a scar which never stops bleeding, it feels as ugly as it looks.
I never expected things to come easy to me... there are trials.. there are tribulations. Too many hopes and dreams built up then brought down. Tears do not come as easy as it looks to others. The feeling of endless tears is not what anyone looks forward to each day. But there is always some timeline defined for everything... Is it ? For me there is no end to few things in life ... The word hope has lost its meaning now... there was a hope that someday it will all be for good. The hope of being loved as I always prayed for. The happiness, where I can actually feel happy n contented for a span of time. The hope of getting through the unending struggles. The hope that someday if not all atleast someone will understand me as a person. And many more hopes that I have already lost in the series of loosing.
I still don't have good answers to a lot of questions asked. But someday I might never have to give any answers to anyone.
I knew myself as a person who loved life long back. I don't want to give up on myself.
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