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Happy Times :)

August is a bitter sweet month for me. It is my birth month  🎂  & birth month of some more special people. This month has colors of friendship  & brother sister love. But there is a lot of heart break attached to it too.   I will focus on the good especially on the writing front. We lose some we win some. Onward we go. Since childhood my birthday has always been a very special day for me. I start waiting for my birthday from the very next day the current one ends. I have tried to always make it special and memorable for me. But most of them did not turn out as I wished n tried for. But from past few years it comes with some sort of fear attached to it. It no more has the excitement it used to bring along.  Wish to get the "LIFE" back in my life.  It might need a lot of efforts and strength but u ltimately,  I decided to write about all of it because I think we could all probably use a reminder to be kind to oursel...
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Flowing like river..!!

A time comes when you know that you will never be and you can never be the same. We are all like time, which once gone is gone forever there can be a better or worse than what you have right now... but we will never get what is passed.  I realize and sense the change in me too, have I started giving up on things and people and hopes or I have modestly started accepting the way things are..? Or I have started waiting for others to act now? .... even those ..from whom I have never even expected anything from....it is probably a time when I wish to sit back and wait for things to happen. I have always been a trailblazer all my life .... I wish to see life when I am nonchalant and relaxed...  In the effort of coping up with life and trying to please everyone around ... what I end up doing is leaving myself and my life ignored ... in venture to keep all smiling and satisfied mostly leaves me in repulse... this discomfort of anyone else's sullenness and the energy exhaust...
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Time

The time when nothing works out for you is tough. It is stressful when you have been one year without work. And then there is nothing ahead on the schedule. You log on to Facebook ... Look at what all others are doing all the stuff everyone is occupied with and then call people finding that where few can pull some minutes for you others are occupied and tell you that they will get back once free. I know there are things to uplift yourself but being at work does make one a bit better since it assures a lot of things will be OK.  Life is not easy for anyone on the earth. But i am probably reaching a point of no return. Although I could swallow a lot and put on a great act earlier but now it seems I have no control over myself too. Am I done with myself ? I cannot muster the strength to stand strong any longer no matter which field.... Career, Friends, Family almost everything.   It feels like there is a scar which never stops bleeding, it feels as ugly as it looks...
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